This Weeks Thing: Mastering Change

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how my perception of change has... well... changed as I've gotten older. Digging back into the brain archives, or barkives, as I call them in this day and age of fast-paced, compound word creation what? I don't know, keep going... to my first experience with change, I remember it distinctly-- we moved to our new house and I was four. I remember the big moving van, walking up our front walk, and sitting on my bed in my new room. I had a tummy ache. I clung to Big Teddy (pictured below: this is a reenactment circa 2009) and probably wondered, in four year old introspective thought, how will I ever manage! I was nervous.

There were, of course, other natural changes throughout my childhood-- moving from pre-school to Sanford, from lower school to middle school, but another one that hit me especially hard was starting high-school. I gradually got older and more mature. Never have I ever experienced a more daunting, strange, exciting yet depressing stage of life than that one (early twenties, don't worry I'll get to you, you're a close second). My best friend moved to another school and we were in a fight for a few months about god knows what, my boyfriend and first love dumped me and was dating someone else, I didn't make varsity volleyball like I was hoping to, I didn't know where or who anything was, I was getting pressured by the popular girls to help them cheat, I was getting my ass handed to me by "BioChem I" and geometry, the list goes on, but I digress-- you see, it was not a fun time. I didn't have the tools yet to understand how to navigate change. I let it take a choke hold on me. I didn't have a plan and didn't know how to get my bearings. I sat in my room and listened to Cold Play-- that was my plan. I could've handled it all better, but I didn't yet know how. By the end of the year, though, things were looking up naturally. I'd found some great new friends, met a new guy, and had a great time playing tennis. But no pain, no gain, right? I was a better person in spite of because of all of those hard times.

College was a similar experience. I remember being irate that I couldn't sleep in my own bed. I went home all the time. I tried to transfer. I resisted. I was probably really crummy to my hall mates, who were actually really cool people, I was just never there to be a friend. Thank goodness I found hockey-- it revolutionized and still is revolutionizing my life.

Graduation, well, I rolled into and out of that since I already had my internship and job secured, so that wasn't too bad, but I did fight tooth and nail the idea of being in an office in a desk chair for eight straight hours. Still fighting that good fight, and winning right now! :)

Relationships. I always held on longer than I should've and caused more pain than I meant to because I resisted turning both of our lives upside down. My relationship with, Darin, however has proven to me the absolute importance of being an independent creature with my own personality, interests, functions, and time. That balance is key.

Anyway, so what emotions and reactions to change have we covered so far: nervousness, anger, resistance, acceptance. Ok, I get it... I still don't know why I didn't love college as much as everyone else, but I get it. But then something happened. I turned 23.

I had a quarter-life crisis, short one year. I craved change so much, the spinning of my wheels made my head hurt. I tried to force change. I tried to force a path forward, force relationships (platonic and non) with people that I thought should be meaningful, force myself to attend events and do things that I thought should be good for me, change things that didn't seem right. I put myself through an MBA program full time while working full time. I was doing grown up things, planning to buy grown up cars, plotting to buy houses. I cried a lot. I schemed a lot. I was disappointed in myself and in others a lot. I picked on myself. I picked on my friends and boyfriends. I looked in the mirror and was not thankful for what I had, only driven to get what I had not yet.

I joined the Y. I got fitter. I got leaner. I was in great shape. I looked in the mirror and still hated what I saw. You could be better, my reflection told me. This isn't good enough, you need to try harder! 

Last year, at 25, instead of reacting to change, I made a change, finally, for me. Not a change for who I thought I was supposed to be, in fact, it was nothing at all like that. I chose to take the opportunity to follow my heart and my passion in the form of a career. I fretted, and was anxious, and asked everyone else what I should do. Everyone gave me different answers, all supportive, all truthful, but, frustratingly{sic}, all different. But instead of reacting to change, I owned this change. I made it mine. I did it because I needed to do it for me. And do you know what the best part of all of this is? It's freed my mind.

Owning this change has allowed me to roll with other changes in my life. I no longer obsessively plan my future based on stereotypical hopes and dreams. I love that I can define my own career, interests, goals and passions. I love that. So if I've gone through all these crazy changes, and I've become such a new and improved person, and I supposedly understand the benefit of making and owning change, why the fork can't I handle making good long-term eating and exercising changes??!

All the articles say how closely related to routine and habit exercise and eating are. I do hockey without thinking about it. I don't think of that as exercise, it's like my meditation. But sticking to a caloric intake without diet guidelines and a numeric restriction (hello, Paleo!) and training when it's not warm out or in the gym by myself are very hard for me. It's not like I'm eating crap and being lazy-- only some of the time. I want diet and exercise to be *more* than a habit or a routine. I want them to be part of me like my passion for hockey is a part of me.

Are you in a happy place with eating and exercising? Are fitness and healthy eating a natural part of you? Were they not before? How did you get there? Are you afraid of falling off the wagon? And if you're on your high horse and are going to tell me to get some willpower and suck it up, there's the door ----->.

Paleo and Faileo, Days 1-14

This post is related to diet. Not diet-ING but general diet. DISCLAIMER: When I write about diet, please know that I love pizza, cheeseburgers, french fries, chocolate, cake, and cheesesteaks as much as the next guy and if you can easily and often wholeheartedly enjoy these things and live life and enjoy them and love yourself and do all the things you love, I think that's great! You go girl or boy! You go. My posts on diet will be meant to share experiences, experiments, hypotheses, and personal unfounded theories that may or may not make sense for you and your body. ;) I know of other friends who struggle with finding a balanced and delicious diet and hopefully, collectively, we can, sometime, in the near or distant future, find a solution that works for each (or heck, even all) of us.

So okay, let's talk about Paleo for a hot minute here. For those of you rolling your eyes and shaking your heads, please take a moment and humor me by reading a little background on Paleo and my relationship to Paleo, so we can get to the real reason for why any of this might matter to you:

What is Paleo?

Paleo is a diet (and lifestyle) that is based on eating how the hunters and gatherers of auld used to eat-- anything you could kill, pluck, pick, or forage for is okay. (Read this blog post to learn more about it-- it's what got me interested despite all of the things I'm about to tell you.)

Since agriculture was not yet born, and animal husbandry was not yet a thing, grains and cows are out. Anything processed is evil not okay. Added sugars? NO! Peanuts? No! Beans! NO! Bread? NO! Bagels? I'll take mine toasted with a side of NO! You get the point.

Why, then, would you think that this was a good idea?

So why would I subject myself to this rigorous set of guidelines? Well, a couple reasons.

1. I'm puffy-- some of it is a little extra fluff, some of it is inflammation due to the fact that...

2. I have a wheat allergy.

3. I'm training for triathlon and need to reduce BF to increase my speed.

4. I'm working on my shred-- but no seriously, I spend three very meaningful days a week in the weight room with my trainer lifting heavy things and 4-5 days a week doing some type of cardio, and eating like crap makes it difficult to make progress anywhere.

5. And last, but certainly not ever least, I constantly and consistently make poor food choices when I have no structure.

So, how's that going for you, Katie?

A loaded question. Days 1-10 were great! I went from my fluffy 13 pounds over race weight to a more reasonable 8 pounds over race weight. I'm assuming most of this quick loss was from release of toxin build up as a result of my never-ending consumption of wheat, though I did feel and look more muscular. Around Day 2, however, I did iterate to lacto-paleo, since I need the calcium and the protein. This did not affect my progress. Most of you that have gotten this far already know all of this from my Facebook posts.

I could literally feel my skin getting closer to my muscles. I didn't feel swollen or puffy, and I didn't LOOK swollen or puffy. Both my trainer and I could see true progress! This is not a common occurrence since I'm, pretty much always, puffy. #Shoutouttowheat So, to summarize...

Things I loved: 1) Feeling good   2) Looking good   3) Not feeling guilty about what I ate

Things I hated: 1) Not being able to eat my normal comfort foods, even the healthy ones like oatmeal, but honestly it wasn't that bad.

Days 11-14, I did a secret experiment and I didn't tell you guys. I let a select group of foods (specifically corn, potatoes, peanuts, and rolled oats) back into my diet. Guess what I weighed on Tuesday. -5 lbs! Guess what I weighed today at weigh-in! The same as I did before Paleo.

If you want to know my weight, I'll tell you, just ask or let me know if you think I should add it in here.

I am extraordinarily disappointed in the regression of my progress but energized that the premise of Paleo seems to have something to it. As of tomorrow, I will be going back to strict Lacto-paleo and hope to continue where I left on Tuesday. I'm a little scared that spring break starts tomorrow and I'll be around food 24/7 for a week, not to mention our trip to New York. Wish me luck!

Is Paleo reasonable and sustainable? The quest to discover the true answer, at least for me, continues. What are your experiences?? I'm glad to have learned more about my body but sad that I can't eat french fries. :( Maybe ice cream will still be in the running!

All of the Things!

For those of you who have been my long-time friends on Facebook, you may recall some of my sporadic forays into blogging. Past blog themes have included, but were not limited to, ice hockey, riding, triathlon, and probably eating at some point. I think I wrote one entry about the loss of my beautiful baby Volvo (RIP).

How will this be any different, you might say. Why should I spend my valuable minutes here on this adventure away from my news feed which I could, instead, spend looking at videos of goats singing Justin Bieber songs or dogs entertaining babies (you're welcome), you might wonder (actually, I don't know if I can compete with those so go watch them and come back, I'll wait here!) I have learned, in my years, that it is useless for me to try to propagate the idea that I am one thing, when I often I am all of these things or none of them at any given time. 

This will make you a cultivated, unique individual unemployable, the critics say. Why can't you stick with one thing? Because: a) I have more than one interest... duh? b) I have more than one talent 3) I don't want to confine myself to one set journey when I could learn and experience so much more! I know you know what I'm talking about, all you type A's out there, amiright? This idea is part of who I am! This is part of my identity, just like everything else on google is, and I'm proud of all of it. Every singe ridiculous picture. Because I have nothing to be ashamed of (of which there is photo evidence!). I am a multi-faceted individual, world! Take a good look! #figurativeselfie

I named this blog The Hurried Learner after a sentiment from the great Henry David Thoreau. His idea was that "when we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.” Well-- I am certainly hurried, and not yet finely-aged enough to be wise, and I struggle often with focusing and working towards great and worthy things, and have many petty fears greatly enjoy many petty pleasures (namely chocolate, baked goods, and wheat-containing foods that are bad for my wheat allergy).

I was not blessed with the propensity to identify my life's calling, stick to it, and achieve it (hats off to all of you doctors, engineers, and baby boomers out there-- god bless you! #millenialsrock #ifyourenotpreparedforhashtagsgetprepared). I love doing everything (except skydiving or hot-air ballon rides-- f that noise). I am a pathological doer of things. I like to do many, many, many things-- some of them well, some of them not so well. So, if you, friend, or happenstance viewer whom I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting, enjoy doing any of the things that I enjoy doing or can relate to any of things I am, as listed below, please follow along, enjoy, and comment!

Things I like Doin'

Hockey

Playin' and training for sports I love

Balancing my ridiculous love of food with a good diet

Being creative

Taking care of others

Being in control

Learning

Loving my family and friends

Trying to be my best me

Things I sometimes struggle with

Understanding my life's purpose

Cooking

Staying in touch

Staying organized (love doing it, but it takes a lot of work)

Being self-sufficient and a control freak at the same time

Motivating myself

Appreciating my body

Do you do these? Any of these things? Let's go exploring together! :) Bon Voyage!

Heart Rate Zone Testing: Part I

Alright, so... when last we met, I was on my way down to Rehoboth for my heart rate zone testing and was trying to recap the last week while sitting in a traffic jam. I got down a little early, so I checked into my hotel real quick before I went to meet Bruce and Kevin at their new digs at First Street Station in Rehoboth. I got there, got my bike out of the car (the chain had come off, I was pretty sure I broke the whole thing, but Kevin said it wasn't a big deal and was able to put it back on for me-- note to self, learn more things about my equipment).

So, heart rate zone testing has a cool purpose-- instead of relying on your level of perceived exertion, you have actual target heart rate zones based on your athletic performance during your test for each type of workout that you should be doing (recovery, lower aerobic, upper aerobic, nozone/uptempo, and threshhold). A description and sample test results can be found here: http://www.tricoach.us/id51.html-- I will post mine as soon as I get it.

Kevin and Bruce hooked my bike up to the computrainer and I saddled up-- the computrainer is pretty cool. I was on my bike in front of a giant TV, and Kevin was controlling the program through a computer-- I was on a virtual tri-course with little virtual fans cheering for me as I tested it out. After I was ready to go, Kevin gave me a series of target wattages and I had to pedal at that wattage for a two-minute interval before he increased the wattage by 15. He was monitoring my heart rate on my Mio Alpha heart rate monitor and he would ask me to rate my level of exertion on a scale of 1 to 10. With each increase, my exertion increased pretty steadily. I will post the actual results once I get them, but the test went on for a total of 20 minutes, so 10 intervals-- starting (I think) in the 70's and moving, finally, into the early 200's. By the last interval, I was pretty sure I was going to die, but I made it!

Unfortunately, by damn heart rate monitor lost my rate, and I had to wipe off the sensor to get it back-- it was around 170 about 15 seconds after I finished the last interval. Ah, the plight of the strapless heart-rate monitor. While I love running strapless (almost sounds dirty, doesn't it hehe)-- I have experienced so many times the frustration of having my sweatiness interfere with the infrared sensor and lose my heart rate, thus ruining my stats for the workout. Kevin and Bruce recommended getting a heart rate monitor with  a strap. I am very interested in the Garmin tri-watch with strap. The catch, here, is that I am also poor. So... there's that.

Kevin recommended that I come back and do the test again on the treadmill, since heart rate zones differ from biking to running. Also, I will have a better idea of what my max is, since I will have a strap then.

I have three takeaways from this adventure: 1) Kevin said my bike isn't dirty enough, and that I need to ride it more. Challenge accepted. 2) Kevin also said my pedal stroke needs some serious work and that I will put a lot of wear and tear on my bike if I don't fix it. Bruce put me through some one leg pedal drills which were clearly more challenging that I thought. I thought about keeping my feet flexed and not pointed while biking today and had some great splits and my longest ride in my shortest amount of time. 3) Was that I need to increase my cadence by about 10 strokes to get into the 90 range-- which will thus increase my efficiency-- and it definitely did today!

I had a hilarious dinner at Dogfish Head afterwards with the Thirsty Thursday crowd-- it was pizza night and I had a celebratory pizza and then a small ice cream cone out of principle on the boardwalk (the principle being that I didn't get to do it all year, so I did it Thursday).

Friday morning, Kevin took me out into the ocean and, I s--- you not, there were like 10 foot waves. The bilateral breathing is great when you're breathing shore side but not so great when you're breathing ocean side and the wave smacks you in the face. I lost a lot of my technique because the ocean was so choppy. The water was a nice temperature and the sun was just coming up as we were getting in.

All this, and I was back in time for work (yeeha) at 9:30am.

Bruce is racing at a half-ironman in Montauk this weekend (good luck, Bruce!). When I get my heart rate zones back I'll write more about the results and also about my brick workout today. I'm starting to feel a little more legit! Talk soon.
Xo,
Katie

Groin detachment: is that a thing?

So, as I sit in stopped traffic on my way down to tricoach for my heart rate test, I finally have a free moment to reflect on my last week of training.

Last we spoke, I had just completed a nice swim workout. Tuesday was my first day of two a days-- an hour bike ride (and mapmyride cooperated!) and a 30 minute run that I squeezed in at lunch. I'm getting some knee pain in my right knee pretty consistently during runs, so that's not much fun-- I think its my bursitis just saying 'sup. I see you, B, do me a favor and cool it for a bit. Aerobically, I feel solid. Muscularly, eh, well... I have "some work" to do. Only using the old hockey muscles really takes a toll on my less importa-- errr, I mean-- other muscles. :)

Yesterday was a 30 minute bike ride which I did indoors at lunch-- that was great! Spinning is so much smoother than outdoor cycling-- I felt like a champ doing my climbs. I felt the best I have in a while, physically-- maybe because I could only see the front of myself, but I admired what was left of my weightlifting developed shoulders and I could see those quads doin' work! Man, for a few months there I just couldn't understand why anyone would voluntarily hop on a machine inside a boring old gym in front of a mirror... but I get it! I see the beauty in challenging myself, and my overall outlook on life has become more positive just in these past few days.

That evening, however, I think the old stems thought we were calling it a night because when I asked them to run and do some lunges, squats, squat-thrusts, etc., I'm pretty sure my groins actually began to separate from my leg bones-- they were like, "alright, we're done, heading to the car... is the rest of you coming?" I modified a little bit and we got through it, but I guess this is how I know I'm working hard, and that I *need* to work hard. Two frozen packs of broccoli and a good night's rest later, I'm doing a little better. :) at least I got to watch zumba while running, those girls (and 2 guys) can really work it!

Sorry if there were some typos, but the open road is now calling and I'm trying to hurry before its my turn to go. Will update later with the results of my heart rate zone test and ocean swim tomorrow am with Kevin from Tricoach. I was told not to eat dinner before hand, as it is "challenging." Yeeha!

Also, took this gem of a photo at my favorite spot that I rode by on my long bike ride, saw our friend Court (who many of you may know). Will finally be skating on fresh ice tomorrow for the first time.

Talk soon!

You only live once, amiright?!

So, about a month ago, there I sat with my boyfriend and my puppy, cuddled up on the couch browsing the internet on Saturday evening. After a spring and summer filled with my usual ice hockey, a weight lifting phase, a brief foray into crossfit, and then a period of dormancy, I simply couldn't take it any more. I had no motivation, no direction, no "up and at' em" and certainly no desire to get my ass out of bed to work out like I used to.

I attributed my lack of will to my inability to set goals. I seriously suck at it-- in many aspects of my life, but that's another post for another day. I do really well when I have a concrete thing that other people are holding me accountable for, (like an MBA... ) but I am not a self-motivator. I can't go running for the sake of going running, unless something is chasing me or I have an upcoming race and I don't want to embarrass myself.

I turned to Darin, my super in-shape, self-motivating boyfriend, and said, "I'm going to sign up for a triathlon." He said, "That's cool. Do you want to think about it for a bit?" Defiantly, I said, "NO! I'm doing it now." With a couple clicks, quick keystrokes, and the recitation of my credit card number (which has become a frequent thing for this sport, so far haha), I, Katherine E. Keeports, troubled swimmer, labored runner, and lazy biker, signed up for the inaugural Brooklyn Triathlon on November 10, 2013.

The next morning, I woke up, got out of bed, scratched my sleepy head and went-- "Um.... I signed up for a what?!" To be honest, I really had been wanting to get into triathlon for the last year, but my grad school and full-time work schedule just simply wouldn't let it happen, but this whole scenario was hilarious for a couple reasons. The first, probably, is that I can't swim. Well, I couldn't swim when I signed up-- but I'm making leaps and bounds of progress! More on that later. Second, is that the swim will be taking place in November. In New York. In the Bay. In what will probably be 50-something degree water. I have quickly learned about many necessary accessories involving neoprene and anti-hypothermia properties that I will be absolutely adorning myself with. Yeeha, right?! Third, is that, outside of swimming, I was absolutely not prepared in any way. I had no viable bike, very few biking accessories, even my running shoes were falling apart. But I did have a pair of chamoise shorts and a whole lot of heart!

Anyhoot, I started swimming by myself in my parents' pool (I was too shy to go to the Y). I bought an awesome bike from the nice guys at Wooden Wheels in Newark and rode it blissfully. I ran a few times-- lumbering through 5k distances like a polar bear on its hind legs (allow yourself to revel in the visual, there). 

I attended a swim clinic with TriCoach and met Kevin Danahy and Bruce Clayton-- two awesome, accomplished triathletes and USAT certified triathlon coaches. This swim clinic opened my eyes and made me really realize what it would take to finish (read: not drown) at Brooklyn. (Sidenote: Bruce is now my coach!) I met Kate, who said she would be interested in Brooklyn too, and I am so excited to train and compete with her-- she's an awesome swimmer.

So, here I am. Week 1, Day 1 of my training plan. Today was swim day! I have completed an ocean swim, a lake swim (where I swam race distance-- so stoked), and many hours in the pool-- and today was the first day I didn't feel like a uncoordinated Labrador in a one-piece-- I actually felt like I semi-knew what I was doing. I even shared a lap lane with someone! Legit. At the lake swim (which was my last swim before today), I swam with Katie, who just completed her first tri (and loved it!), and Sue (awesome ironwoman), and as I struggled panting and gasping back to the starting point after 400m, Sue said, "Try it again, but do it at your own pace." That small piece of advice allowed me to swim 800 meters consecutively that day and has been a HUGE help to me in my training! I am keeping this blog as a journal to understand my experiences and reflect on the things I accomplish and the things I need to work on. I KNOW it's going to be an amazing, fun, probably hilarious journey.

In all seriousness, I am so excited to train for this race, to set goals and accomplish them, to make new friends, and to challenge myself on new levels, physically and mentally. This is gonna be awesome!!

XO,

Katie